Maybe it’s just habit, a muscle memory I never fully unconditioned.

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Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

It takes me a long time to fall asleep.

Just like clockwork, as soon as the light switches off, my mind goes into overdrive: Unfinished tasks for work. That stupid thing I wish I hadn’t said to my mom. All the writing that there has to be done and no ideas to fill the page.

Now, I know that it isn’t uncommon for someone to overthink before they drift into sleep. We all have our worries, our fears. Being a person isn’t easy, and that’s a fact ingrained in our humanness. …

Some might perceive my willingness to fall apart as a weakness but I disagree.

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Photo by Ilyuza Mingazova on Unsplash

When I was younger, a friend told me that paper cuts sting so much because our fingers are made up of many nerve endings, making them more vulnerable and ripe for pain.

For some of us, I think our hearts function in a similar way.

I am one of them. A deep feeler.

I was the sensitive kid that grew up to be an empath. I experience life intensely. I don’t color in the lines. Instead, I bleed out. I cross over the boundaries of rational thought into a deeper, more significant kind of grace, the one that allows me…

They don’t mind being the one who loves more deeply.

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Photo by Claudia van Zyl on Unsplash

1. They are incredibly empathetic.

Old souls also tend to be empaths. They are incredibly in tune with the emotions and feelings of others, especially of those they hold close. Often, they will be able to sense (sometimes even before you can) when you need space, or when you simply need a hand to hold. Their high awareness of what your needs are at any given moment makes them a wonderful partner.

2. They don’t play games.

Old souls are not interested in playing hard to get or partaking in the chase. In fact, they find the rules of modern dating to be absolutely exhausting. To them, it doesn’t make…

Any man I end up with will be nice to me or he will be nothing to me at all. Full stop.

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Photo by Blake Cheek on Unsplash

He’s just so nice to me, I sputtered as I sobbed into my pillow after another romantic endeavor had come to a screeching halt. This time felt extra painful, though. The person in question was also my dear friend, one who treated me with tender kindness and patience I had not experienced with men I had been involved with before him. He gave me space to be open with my feelings, never judging me for whatever tumbled out of my mouth. He laughed with me, not at me. He treated me with respect.

In short, he was just fucking nice.

Maybe I should try a little harder to be dateable

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Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash

“So, do you have a boyfriend?”

It’s a chilly Wednesday night in mid-December and I’m getting my hair cut by a beautiful, petite woman with perfectly brown hair and a newly placed ring on her left hand.

“No, no,” I replied.

“How old are you?”

“23, about to turn 24.”

There’s a brief silence, the kind of quick quietness that follows after someone has said something sad and you’re scrambling for the right words of solace.

“Oh, don’t worry. You have time! I met my fiance…” says my hairdresser, going off on an inspirational speech about how the right guy…

Fall in love with an old soul, the kind of person who thinks and loves deeply and intensely.

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Photo by Cyrus Crossan on Unsplash

Fall in love with an old soul, the kind of person who thinks and loves deeply and intensely. Fall in love with the person whose wisdom does not match their physical years, the introspective type whose experiences have weathered their hearts, but left them equipped with the type of knowledge that usually only comes with age. Fall in love with an old soul.

Despite this wisdom that makes them tick, old souls are still filled with a sense of wonder. They appreciate the little things, the tiny moments that happen in our day-to-day experiences. They realize that it’s these little…

You begin to pretend you don’t care. You tell yourself that you weren’t all that interested anyway.

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Photo by Sam Burriss on Unsplash

When you stop hearing from him, assume it’s because he’s busy.

He’s could just be with his friends or family, or maybe he’s working. Perhaps he just forgot to reply. You don’t know, but you don’t take it personally, not quite yet. You still trust him. You still like him. There’s still hope in your heart.

After all, things were going well, weren’t they? You spent a lot of time together. Laughing, holding hands, falling asleep to the sound of each others’ slowing breaths, as you drifted asleep. Your heart fluttered for the first time in a long time whenever…

Treating someone like crap is a conscious choice.

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Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

Wait for the guy who actually gives a fuck about you. Who calls when he says he will, and explains why when he doesn’t. Who shows the fuck up. Wait for the one who is always there when you need him. Who doesn’t just say that he cares, but truly shows this sentiment through his actions.

Be with the guy who listens to what you have to say, completely and carefully. Who doesn’t jump to conclusions. Who is patient, understanding, and considerate. Invest your time in a man who treats you fairly and who never makes you question how he…

A broken heart is merely a redirection.

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Photo by Anton Malanin on Unsplash

1. You maybe did not conquer the world today, but you did get out of bed and sometimes that is more than enough.

2. You are not for everyone, and that is perfectly okay.

3. Likewise, not everyone is for you.

4. Love is not one thing, nor does it come from a single place.

5. Time does not heal wounds, the steps we take to mend them do.

6. It is okay to ask for help.

7. Being alone does not mean you are unwanted, it is simply a state of being.

8. Life is messy, unfair and unpredictable…

Maybe at one time, these messages would signify a future, but now they are simply the past. Let them be so.

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Photo by Adrien Olichon on Unsplash

Remove the old texts from your phone, the messages that gave you hope, that made you believe that the two of you could be something. Delete them all. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to search for meaning between the pixelated words on the screen. Don’t give yourself the chance to analyze time stamps and emojis, promises, and plans to hangout. Maybe at one time, these messages would signify a future, but now they are simply the past. Let them be so. Delete those texts.

And then erase the tough texts, too, the ones where he took too long to reply…

Molly Burford

Writer covering mental health, wellness, personal growth and everything in between. Golden retriever in a past life. She/her.

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