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Some Thoughts For World Suicide Prevention Day
It’s the contrasts in life that give us our dimension. Without darkness, we cannot know light. Without pain, we cannot know happiness. And without hitting rock bottom, you truly do not know what it means to rise.
It’s been said before that the cracks in our foundation are how the light reaches us, sneaking into our core and filling us up with a softness so pervasive it’s impossible to ignore. This is how it feels after you come out from the other side of suicide, attempt or ideation.
At least for me.
When I left the hospital, it was April and I hadn’t felt fresh air in a week. The sun felt brighter than it ever had before and as I stared out the car window while my mom drove me home, I no longer felt like myself. I felt lighter, sure, but dimmer. Not better, but alive. Present. There.
I survived. But now I had to live. And I wasn’t sure I remembered how. If I ever knew at all.
That was over two years ago now, but I think I’ve remembered now. (Yeah, I think I do.)
And I think living is this:
Living is forgetting yourself in the arms of someone who loves you. It’s big ass cups of coffee and sleeping in on Saturday mornings, even if that means only laying in bed till 6:45. It’s visiting your grandma even though her…
